How to find an LGBT+ friendly care home

Until 1967, having a romantic or sexual relationship with somebody of the same sex was a criminal offence in Britain. For many older people, this stigma has never fully left them, and hiding who they are may still be something they feel they have to do.

This is why it is very important for a person who is LGBT+ to move into a LGBT+ friendly care home.

Awareness and equality have made huge strides since then, but some older people may never feel that they can fully embrace who they are for fear of discrimination. But it is never too late, as bestselling author Jacqueline Wilson showed when she came out publicly earlier this year, at the age of 74.

There are over a million lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT+) people living in the UK who are aged over 55.

LGBT+ specific care companies

Care designed specifically for LGBTQ+ people is still in its infancy, but has begun.

A home care provider in London, Alternative Care Services, provides home care exclusively to LGBTQ+ customers.

In 2021, Tonic Housing opened Tonic@Bankhouse, the UK’s first ever LGBT+ affirming retirement community. Located in Vauxhall, London, the community is the first specifically designed to support and celebrate the lives and needs of LGBT+ people.

Signs that a care home is LGBT+ friendly

• The care home has images of same-sex couples in its promotional literature and information packs
• The care home welcomes same-sex partners and allows private time for couples and the sharing of rooms.
• The care home holds Silver Pride events
• It displays a rainbow sticker or flag showing it is LGBT+ friendly
• The care home’s staff have had LGBT+ awareness training

Ask questions

While care homes strive to treat people equally, this is not the same as personalised care and you may want to live somewhere that embraces diversity more actively.

Don’t be afraid to speak to staff, and even residents if possible, about inclusivity.

Some questions you could ask are:

• How do you tackle discrimination within the home? Who do I go to if I feel discriminated against and experience homophobia?
• Are there any other LGBT+ people in the care home? How do you support them and would it be possible to speak to them?
• How will personal care be handled given that I’m transgender? Will I be allowed to use facilities for my gender and be supported to pick outfits that I want to wear?
• Will I be able to speak about former same-sex partners in reminiscence sessions? Will I be able to openly discuss life as an LGBT+ person?

Discuss their policies and how they enforce them

Care homes have a legal duty to protect residents and staff and treat them with dignity and respect, regardless of their sexuality. Most homes have written policies that state that they comply with this. Under the Health and Social Care Act 2008 Regulations 2014 and the Equality Act 2010, staff and residents must respect each other’s beliefs, lifestyles and cultures.

Alice Wallace, director at Opening Doors London, a charity which supports LGBTQ+ people over the age of 50, explains: “The Equality Act 2010 protects everybody’s rights, and that may mean a conflict of values sometimes.”

Sadly, residents can face bullying or discrimination from other residents. In these cases, staff often handle the situation as a safeguarding issue. This can be very effective, but some homes take extra steps to protect LGBTQ+ residents from discrimination. The home may have a diversity or even an LGBTQ+ lead who residents and staff can go to with concerns.

Find out which care homes run LGBT+ events or groups

Some care groups celebrate diversity in many different ways. The news section on their carehome.co.uk profiles is a great place to find out what events and activities they’ve had. June is National Pride Month and many homes celebrate this.

A great example of a care setting that celebrates diversity is Belong care villages in North West England. They hold LGBT reminiscence sessions for their residents, support residents to attend Pride events and have even been holding their very own Silver Pride event since 2018.

At the time of the first Belong Silver Pride, Belong Crewe’s experience coordinator, Natalie Ravenscroft, a driving force behind the event, said: “The event was about fun and entertainment as well as showcasing the care options open to older members of the LGBT community and creating a ‘safe space’ where people would feel comfortable expressing who they are.”

Anchor Hanover has a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans Advisory Group for its residents, where they can offer peer support to each other and discuss ideas to further inclusivity.

Check to see if the care home has a Pride in Care quality standard

Opening Doors London (ODL) work with care providers across the UK to provide inclusive care to LGBTQ+ people over 50 years old. They are the only organisation in the UK that work specifically for LGBTQ+ people of this age group. Their work has been, and continues to be, a valuable lifeline for people who can otherwise feel isolated.

They have created a Pride in Care quality standard which lasts for three years and ensures the care provider makes their services as inclusive as possible of older LGBT+ people.

This includes representation of difference on their website, robust policies and procedures that explicitly reference LGBTQ+ inclusion and LGBTQ+ awareness throughout their induction and training of staff.

Alice Wallace, director at ODL, says: “Before we launched Pride in Care, there wasn’t any kind of national standard in care. There were a number of very localised ones. But we thought it was important to have a national standard. Now we help organisations across the UK evidence that they are providing inclusive care. We give confidence to LGBTQ+ people wanting to benchmark what good quality care looks like.

Accreditation process

“Care providers undergo an accreditation process which lasts for three years. This will include the organisation providing evidence of how they support LGBTQ+ people in their care, which we will then assess. We do a survey of staff’s attitudes and may speak to care home residents.

Below is what the Pride in Care quality standard looks like. If it isn’t displayed clearly on the home’s website, it’s still worth asking if they have it. ODL maintains an ongoing relationship with care providers to ensure they continue to meet requirements.

You can contact ODL to ask which care homes in your area have the Pride in Care quality standard. Their phone number is 020 7239 0400, or email info@openingdoorslondon.org.uk.

Michael and Michelle – how their gender fluidity is supported in a care home

Michael was born in 1939. He always felt different and could feel confused at times as gender and sexuality weren’t widely discussed in the 1950s and 60s.

In the 1950s, Michael started dressing in women’s clothing, wigs and perfume in private. This is when Michelle was born. Today, they are gender fluid – one day he might be Michael and the next she is Michelle.

Michael moved into Okeley Care Home, run by Excelcare, in 2018. He arrived with only male clothing and it took time for Michelle to emerge. The team would ask questions about Michelle and encourage Michael to embrace his gender identity. They supported him to shop for women’s clothing and accessories and with feminine personal care to help Michelle to ‘feel pretty’.

Michael and Michelle now live freely without judgement, fully accepted and supported by the community at Okeley care home.

Read Michael and Michelle’s full story.

You can listen to this podcast from transgender care director Ramses Underhill-Smith who reveals personal experiences, Pride in Care and the importance of giving LGBTQ+ inclusive care.

To find out more about Excelcare and how they could support you as an individual, visit their website or get in touch with an Excelcare care home in your area.