‘My Arthur’s carers were so kind – now I help them out as a volunteer’

DEVOTED Margot Whalley is repaying the kindness of the care centre which looked after her husband Arthur in the last months of his life by returning as a volunteer.

Arthur had dementia and had been receiving specialist care at the Bluebirds Neurological Care Centre in Milton Keynes since September 2011. He died, aged 78, in January.

Now Margot goes back to Bluebirds as a volunteer carer twice a week as a ‘thank you’ to the Shenley Lodge centre and its staff for the kindness they showed her husband.

Bluebirds is owned and managed by Milton Keynes care provider PJ Care, the UK’s leading provider of neurological care, treatment and rehabilitation.

The centre was recently awarded its Gold Standards Framework certification for providing high quality end-of-life care.

“Arthur was so happy during his time at Bluebirds,” said Margot who is 75.

“He was treated with so much compassion, love and respect, and everyone was so kind.

“After he died, I just felt like I wanted to give something back to Bluebirds.

“I’d made so many friends there – staff and residents – and I feel close to Arthur somehow whenever I go back.”

Margot catches two buses from her home in Stony Stratford for her volunteer work at the centre which mainly revolves around helping the 22 residents with their drinks and meals.

“I don’t get involved in their personal care, of course,” said Margot, “but I do spend time sitting and chatting with residents.”

Arthur and Margot met in 1955 when they were both working on the railways in Wolverton. Margot worked in the offices, and Arthur was a coach finisher.

They were married in 1959, enjoying an idyllic life together, which Margot says was full of laughter and smiles.

“Arthur was always a lively, happy person with a big laugh. I remember, before we got together, sitting in a cinema and listening to this chap behind us with a very loud laugh, and thinking ‘I’m glad I'm not with him!’

“Only a few years later we were married!”

Margot and Arthur spent many happy times together on walking holidays in Wales and Scotland, and looking after their beloved dogs.

“It’s difficult to say when Arthur began to get poorly and lose his memory, because it came on so gradually,” says Margot.

“He became absent-minded, and then confused about some things. We’d be out shopping and he wouldn't be able to pack the bags properly.”

As his condition worsened, it became difficult for Margot to manage Arthur’s behaviour. He began to wander off for miles from the house because he liked to walk.

Eventually, Margot was persuaded that her husband needed specialist care.

“Because he was a walker, it was difficult to find the right place for him,” said Margot.

“We tried two other care homes, but they couldn’t cope, and he wasn’t at all happy.

“He was on lots of medication, and not himself at all. One day he said to me ‘I think I’m losing my life, Margot’ – I cried all the way home on the bus.

“But it was different as soon as he arrived at Bluebirds. His medication was adjusted so he was more himself, and there was plenty of space for him to walk.”

Arthur gradually became more and more frail as his illness took hold, and he died just before his 79th birthday on January 9 this year.

“Some people might think it’s unusual for me to go back to Bluebirds, but I find it very comforting somehow.

“I still talk to him, and tell him what I’m up to. He’ll always be there for me.”

click here for more details or to contact PJ Care Bluebirds Neurological Care Centre