5 signs your parent needs to move to a care home

Realising your parent may no longer be safe living alone can be an emotional and overwhelming experience. Many older people value their independence and may hide the fact they are struggling.

While every situation is different, there are some common signs that extra support may be needed. From frequent falls to increasing confusion, recognising these changes early can help families make safer and more confident decisions together.

At a glance

Reluctance to ask for help: Many older people find it difficult to admit they need extra support and may hide struggles because they value their independence.

Signs they may no longer cope alone: Family members or friends may begin to notice that a loved one is struggling to manage safely or comfortably at home.

Difficult care decisions: Deciding when residential care is the right option can be emotional and challenging for everyone involved.

Safety becoming the priority: When home support is no longer enough to meet daily needs safely, a care needs assessment can help determine whether a care home is the best option.

Signs your parent needs to move to a care home

There will be some signs to look out for which will tell you your parent needs to move to a care home.

As people age, mobility and balance can change. Vision and hearing may also deteriorate, making everyday tasks more difficult.

Health conditions such as arthritis, diabetes and incontinence can also increase the need for support.

There may come a point where occasional support at home no longer feels enough to keep your parent safe and comfortable.

It can be extremely hard for them to admit they need more help. They may be fiercely independent and hide the fact they are unable to look after themselves.

You may suspect your parent, family member or friend can no longer cope by themselves at home. However deciding when residential care is the best option can be difficult.

Below are some tell-tale signs that can help you and your loved one make that hard decision.

1. Falls

As people age, their mobility deteriorates and their eyesight often worsens leading to falls.

• If they start having minor falls, these can escalate, so keep an eye out for bruises on their body.

• If your loved one starts having falls which are causing sprains and broken bones, their health and safety is being put at risk.

If they live by themselves it could get to the point when they are no longer safe at home and need to be in residential care where they can be cared for 24/7.

Keep a note of how often falls happen and whether emergency help has been needed.

2. Poor personal hygiene

You may notice your parent is starting to have poor hygiene. This could be because they are scared they will slip in the shower or the bath and they find it too hard to get in and out.

• Ask them if they are having problems getting in and out of the bath. Are they managing to get in and out of bed okay?

• Are they having problems getting dressed? They may stop tidying the house. You may find a normally houseproud person has changed to someone who doesn’t seem bothered by their messy environment.

However this may just be because they do not have the energy and mobility anymore to clean the house.

Again this is something they may not want to admit to as it will be a sign they are not coping.

3. Incontinence

Incontinence is when you no longer have control over your bladder or bowel. Older people can be more at risk of incontinence due to a number of medical conditions.

These conditions include gut conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome, side effects of medication, UTI (urinary tract infection), prostate gland problems and constipation.

• People with dementia also have problems with incontinence. They may no longer recognise the sensation of having a full bladder or bowel or they may no longer know where the toilet is.

• Incontinence can be embarrassing and distressing for the person and it can also lead to skin infections. It can also be incredibly hard for the carer when their loved one starts to lose control of their bladder or bowels.

When incontinence becomes a regular occurrence it may be time for your parent or partner to move into a care home.

There may come a stage where caring at home becomes physically and emotionally exhausting for everyone involved.

4. Memory loss and confusion

When memory loss and confusion cause your parent or loved one to start missing meals or forgetting their medication, then it becomes a health and safety issue. They may start suffering from malnutrition or dehydration. Or their blood pressure may get into the danger zone if they are not taking their medication to keep it at a certain level.

• Look for signs of weight loss
• See if they can still find their way around their house
• If they are disorientated it may no longer be safe for them to live at home
• Are they leaving the oven on after cooking?
• You need to consider whether their confusion and memory loss is putting them in a dangerous situation

5. Withdrawn and depressed

You may have noticed your parent or family member has become withdrawn or depressed. They may have recently lost a partner and be suffering from loneliness. Or they may have had a fall and have lost their confidence in going outside.

Interacting with people and socialising is very important for people’s wellbeing. Sadly nearly a quarter of a million people in the UK often go a whole week without speaking to anyone, according to Age UK.

• Check to see if they are still meeting up with friends

• Are they still doing the activities they used to enjoy?

• Check if they are sleeping in or sleeping more than usual?

• Are they getting irrationally angry about things?

Instead of trying to cope at home with no stimulation or company, sometimes residential care is a better solution.

There may be activities your parent or loved one can get involved in. They may make new friends in the care home.

If a care home is needed

If there are obvious signs your parent would be safer and better looked after in a care home you should get in touch with your local authority. You will be able to get a care needs assessment as that will help you come to a decision as they will tell you how much support they need.

Once the care needs assessment has been carried out, the person needing residential care should get a financial assessment. This will determine if the council will contribute to or pay for their care. 

Coming to the conclusion and seeing signs your parent needs to move to a care home can be a very emotionally charged decision.

Ultimately you need to think about whether they will get better care and support at home or in a care home. You need to look at whether their health and safety is being put at risk if they remain in their own home.

While deciding on residential care can feel overwhelming, recognising the signs early can help families make safer and more supportive decisions together.

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